


Opportunities we had lost

by toddykun



Series: Sapphic September 2018 [13]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, BAMF "Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt, BAMF M'ma Crackshell-Cabrera, F/F, Making Out, Old Woman Being Badass, Reincarnation, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sapphic September, Sapphic September 2018, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Younger "Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt, like at the start when she is talking about her past lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-07-14 11:06:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16039208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toddykun/pseuds/toddykun
Summary: She was Goldie O’Gilt, she didn’t wait for opportunities anymore. She made them if it was necessary and she took them without letting go of even one bit. She could have this, if she didn’t have this when she was younger, maybe she could have this now. Goldie O’Gilt took what she wanted, this woman was no exception.sapphic september 2018:13. (reincarnation!au orimmortal!au)





	1. all those golden opportunities

**Author's Note:**

> i fought with this fic like you had no idea. Fucking bitch didn't want to be short, it kept going and going and going and i tought i was going to die honestly. but heeeeeeeellllll yeah, its here. i wanted to do some goldie/cabrera so the circle is complete lol and the idea went to me like heaven sent until i started writing it and it never ended omg
> 
> so, this is my longest fic yet. so i hope u enjoy

When Goldie was younger, thirteen years old at best, she met a foreign girl two years older than her that was part of a Spanish family that was looking for commercial anglings in Dawson. Goldie didn’t think too much about her at the start, except that she looked too serious to be so young and that even when she was incredibly beautiful, the air of calm and stubbornness surrounding her was her most attracting feature. Or at least, that was what she heard from the clients of the Blackjack.

In a place as boring as Dawson, the family converted themselves into the town’s new attraction in no time.

Funnily enough, three days after that, a scandal spread through town about them being “completely crazy” and “Spain probably is weird with people like that”. Goldie laughed hard when she finally heard the rumor, a teenager hitting a grown ass man with enough force to break his jaw because he touched her. Yeah, right, that couldn’t be true. And her parents didn’t scold her but encouraged her and not only that but they screamed at the man too? It sounded like a well made-up story to tell to naïve little girls about the power of love or some shit.

Until she saw Mr. McReed, a man known for his extreme horrible behavior towards young ladies who always got away with it, with his jaw broken and turning around scared every time a young woman passed by his side, it was then that Goldie knew she needed to meet this duck.

The opportunity came when the Flores Silva (someone kept talking about them in the saloon and spilled their family name) gave a visit to the Blackjack. Everybody whispered, everybody had something to say about them but the Flores Silva were oblivious or just didn’t give a fuck at all because they kept walking to the counter like nothing was going on around them. When they got to the counter, the adults demanded to talk to the owners for a business meeting. Their daughter seemed disinterested and kept looking around the saloon.

Goldie was working as hard as ever, always looking for the opportunity to approach the family when a man touched her waist weirdly. She let it past because it could have been an accident. Until the touch repeated and Goldie felt paralyzed.

The girls of the saloon told her it was normal, that men had the right to have whatever they wanted out of women because they were the ones that did all the hard work out there, they deserved it. It was the way of life.

Goldie didn’t like the so-called ‘way of life’ too much. But she couldn’t complain, because it would mean losing a client and making a fuss that maybe would make them lose even more clients, she couldn’t do that to her parents. They needed the money.

The man touched her again, this time she couldn’t suppress the indignant squeal that escaped her beak because he actually went directly to pull her tail, the man only laughed at her with his buddies. Goldie gripped her tray tighter, suppressing the need to scream in his face. She wouldn’t say something, it would cause trouble for her parents. _She couldn’t-._

“I do not think the girl really likes what you are doing, maldito asqueroso. Let her go now, she is just a kid, are you stupid or just blind?”

Those words sounded ridiculously loud around the saloon even if she actually said then in a normal tone, but everybody was silent and the man that kept pestering her looked at the girl with the face of someone that didn’t know what ‘no’ meant. He stood up, towering the other girl easily with his muscles and height. Goldie held her breath along with the other clients of the Blackjack. Everybody waited for the explosion that supposedly should come with this foreign girl.

But she said nothing more than that, waiting for the man to talk.

“You think you can just say that to me, _girl_?”

“Let the kid go. Don’t make me lose my patience, _man_.”

Goldie indulged herself and took a good look at the girl while she was arguing with the bigger duck. She was, in fact, beautiful. A light brown duck with wavy darker brown hair that was long enough to get to her waist, she was slightly taller than Goldie, maybe one or two inches. She used some big jewelry too with a red dress that molded to her waist. It suited her, she thought. She was really attractive.

Then all hell broke loose. The man let go of Goldie and instead tried to grab the Spanish girl. She reacted fast, punching him in the gut with enough force to make him almost fell down before he could get to touch her. Screams were heard around the place but honestly, Goldie was mesmerized, she had never seen a woman fighting. The man, even more enraged now, send a punch to the girl but she evaded it gracefully, the punch ended landing in an old owl that was just taking a beer, he got up and punched the duck on the face. His buddies got up to defend him.

Goldie, living in a saloon all her life, knew that this wasn’t going to end soon nor in a good way.

Goldie needed to act fast. Goldie took her hand and ran like a crazy into one of the dressers of the dancers and when she thought they were safe, she let her go and sighed. There were screams and the sound of things breaking outside the door.

“I guess that doesn’t happen in the country you came from.” She tried to make conversation.

The girl laughed. “Pfft, nada que ver. In Spain esa mierda happens too all the time. I really hate it. So I will never shut up about it until people understand that they can’t just accept that. Thanks for getting me out of there.”

Goldie put a wild strain in order, nervous out of nowhere. “Thanks for defending me.”

“What’s your name, anyway?”

“Golden O’Gilt. I’m the owners’ daughter, but everybody just calls me Goldie around here.”

“It’s a pleasure, Goldie. I’m Victoria del Valle Flores Silva, my parents call me Toya.”

“Toya?” It sounded weird in her tongue. Why would someone be called Toy-ia? Where did it come from? From Victoria? How?

“No, no. Oh por Dios, no.” Victoria laughed, snorting even. “To-Ya.” Goldie tried again but she didn’t seem to get it right. “Better drop it, just call me Victoria, it’s probably easier and my parents are the only ones that call me Toya anyways.”

Goldie felt curious. “How did you did that? I mean, fighting. I have never seen a woman fight like you before, I mean, except for slaps and pulling hair. You fought like a man out there.”

“I fought as people should fight, that was everything. Papá teach me how. I could show you, it’s not that hard.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, punch those nasty men into oblivion. Let the lady lead. Work for yourself!”

Goldie laughed immediately and when it subsided, she smiled at her. Victoria corresponded, and from then on, they decided they liked each other enough to keep a friendship.

It was a good one.

But one day, the irrepressible desire to kiss Victoria came to Goldie like an avalanche after hanging out with her around town. Funnily enough, it came with the most simple of things, Victoria was just smiling with her lips glossed over for some berries juice they just ate, and her lips looked kissable. Goldie definitely wanted to do that. She didn’t do it at the moment but if she learned something from Victoria was that women could do as much as men in desires and wishes.

Goldie would just wait for her opportunity to do her wish.

They encountered themselves alone a lot of times after that, but it never seemed to be the correct moment for Goldie anyways, so she kept waiting. She kept waiting even when Victoria gave her flowers or when she kissed her cheek or when she held her hand around the town for all the world to see. Even when Victoria’s eyes flew to Goldie’s lips sometimes.

Goldie waited for her opportunity until the day of the deadline arrived.

Victoria needed to go back to Spain. Goldie felt like crying that day.

Goldie promised that she wouldn’t let anyone step down on her. That if men could have whatever they wanted, so could she. And that she would find a way to see her again. Victoria just smiled, she seemed to be amused by her naivety, but accepted anyways and kissed her cheek again before going to the cart and not coming back ever again.

Sadly enough, the last promise, she couldn’t keep it in time.

She fell in love again with another person anyway so it didn’t matter, Goldie thought with slightly less remorse that she should feel, she guessed. The image of a Scottish duck with proudness in his smile and hardworking hands touching her hips passing through her mind.

But the desire, her wish for Victoria, remained.

.

Goldie thought reincarnation was overrated.

“You have the right to remain silent…”

Goldie even thought it was bullshit.

“…Anything you say can _and_ will be used against you in a court of law…”

She had lived for _a long_ time and not once she had met a person that resembled her past.

“…You have the right to an attorney…”

Her parents? Dead. Her friends? Dead. Her employees in Blackjack? Very, Very Dead.

“…If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you…”

The only person in her past that remained the same was Scrooge and that was because he wasn’t, you know, dead. That was not the case anymore, apparently.

“Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”

“Victoria?” The name escaped her beak before she could think about it. The woman behind her putting the cuffs raised a brow and looked at her with a confused expression. This was not Victoria, this woman _couldn’t be_ Victoria.

Her eyes were the same. Her hair was the same even if it was shorter. Her feathers were the same. Her posture was too. But this woman _could not be_ Victoria.

_Victoria was dead too._

“Find a good synonym for that and maybe you will hit the nail, ma’am. For now, you’re arrested.”

.

“Don’t make it harder than it needs to be, Miss…”

“Goldie O’Gilt.”

“Ms. O’Gilt. I’m going to ask again. What were your intentions in that casino with Mr. McQueen?”

“Well, now that’s embarrassing, one doesn’t go asking about people’s personal lives.”

“Ma’am, you drugged him.”

“Oh, I did? Now, that’s what you said. Maybe we were having a complicate foreplay and you’re just meddling.”

The woman sighed, she looked like she was just going to hit her head against the wall. Goldie wanted to laugh, but she needed to concentrate on getting out of these handcuffs first. Thanks to however invented hairclips. “Don’t make me lose my patience.”

“You never were really patient, anyways.”

“You keep talking like you know me and it’s freaking me out. Just stop.”

“Look, Victoria-.”

“I’m not Victoria, I don’t know who is that person but I can assure you that you’re confused, ma’am. Please, just answer the questions already.”

Goldie shrugged. Ok, maybe there was the tiny little possibility that this woman wasn’t really Victoria, even when she was identical. Or maybe she lost her memories about who she really was or was just fucking with her or changed her name or just downright forgot about Goldie. That last possibility left her heart aching.

_Or maybe she was her reincarnation._

No, reincarnation was bullshit.

The officer sighed again and looked at her, and for a millisecond Goldie saw it. A spark of something that equal women and men and people, in general, looked in her at some point.

Attraction. Oh, yes, she could work with that.

The officer sat down, giving her just a look of her profile, an elbow leaning on the table and her hand massaging her temple. Her brows were furrowed, her eyes with dark circles closed and she looked terribly tired. Likely caused by a long day at work and probably because Goldie was not cooperating at all. All that translated to Goldie in a weaker state, she could hit that.

“You seem stressed, officer.”

“It’s hard not to be while working with such a difficult person, Ms. O’Gilt.”

“Maybe I could help with that.”

The woman seemed to react a little but laughed. “If I wanted that type of help, I would get it in a person that didn’t have the habit of drugging men to rob them or whatever the hell you were going to do with him. Thanks but no thanks.”

Great, an officer with good ethics at work. Exactly what she _didn’t_ need.

“Please, stop going around in circles, Ms. O’Gilt. Tell me why you did it, it can’t get worse than you drugging a man in a casino.”

Goldie rolled her eyes. She decided to give her something at least before escaping in another way. “I just needed some money. Men can be idiots sometimes, a cute look and they think they have you at their mercy. Especially men that like casinos, beer, and prostitutes. I’m used to those.”

“Well, not gonna fight that logic. And now we’re getting somewhere. For what did you need the money, Ms. O’Gilt?” Now, she faced her, both elbows on the table, hands joined and leaning at her. The officer was regaining confidence. Goldie heard a little click from behind her and smiled to herself. It was such a tragedy that Goldie needed to take that confidence away.

“Oh, sorry, about that I can’t tell you. I really need to go now.”

“What?”

Goldie got up and jumped to the table to attack her, a hard clang from the handcuffs hitting the ground resound around the interrogation room. The officer reacted fast, getting up from the chair in record time and pulling her gun out, but Goldie kicked the gun out of her grasp and took it. The woman went immediately to grab something in her back but Goldie pointed the gun at her head.

“Don’t.” She stopped immediately, visible gulped and sweated, looking at Goldie in a conflicting way. A hand in her back and an angry stare. “We both know it’s going to get ugly if you get that second gun out, officer.”

“Maldición…”

Goldie laughed. “What, you thought that because I let my guard down back there when you catch me in the casino that I wasn’t a fighter?” The officer tsked, too aware of the gun pointing at her. “Empty your pockets and pass me that other gun too, officer. When you are done, put your hands where I can see them. You know, up, up.”

The woman grumbled but did as she was told. She threw on the ground her gun, her badge, two sets of keys, probably one from her house and the other for the interrogation room, and her wallet. Then put her hands up. She looked even madder.

Goldie took the wallet and started inspecting it. Her I.D. said “Gloria Cabrera” born in 19--, so this wasn’t Victoria. Maybe, it was just a duck that looked like her ( _or her reincarnation_ , a traitorous voice sang in the back of her mind). Goldie didn’t give up. She found a photo while looking for other things that maybe could mean that this was Victoria after all. She got it out, she thought maybe it was something that could prove her point.

Oh, how wrong she was.

“This is your son?” Goldie felt incredulous. Victoria didn´t want children. Nothing of this made any sense ( _no, it did, because she was not Victoria_ ).

“Yes, he is…the love of my life.” Her voice sounded so soft out of nowhere, all her “bad police” persona left her in a moment. She looked completely different in less than a second. A doting mother who loved her son and was scared of leaving him alone. “He is probably waiting for his mamá to come home. Please, don’t do this. I want to see my baby.”

Goldie knew what she was doing. Manipulation. Oh, how much she hated that it was actually working. She wasn’t lying, she could hear the adoration and love pouring form her words but she wasn’t saying those things out of the good of her heart. She was saying it so the criminal would feel sorry for her and let her go. It wasn’t like she was really going to shoot her but now she almost felt bad about this, for making her believe that she was going to do it for real. Fuck the police, honestly. Fuck this officer in specific.

Well, now that wasn’t a bad idea.

Goldie left the photo on the table and started to walk towards the woman. She looked defeated. No, that wasn’t true. She looked _accepting_ , she didn’t move, she didn’t break eye contact either. The strong police officer she met earlier came back full force. She stood her ground even when her hands seemed to tremble slightly from the effort of leaving them up. If she was going to die, she would die prideful, her posture seemed to say. Goldie stopped walking when the gun touched the officer’s chest. She closed her eyes for a second but opened them rapidly, still looking at her, still waiting for Goldie to make her move.

Goldie knew what she wanted to do, but for the second time in her life, she felt kind of lost in the decision of doing it or not. She couldn’t have Victoria in her moment, a Victoria that looked and presented herself like this officer in front of her. Strong and stubborn, full of confidence but humble too, that loved so much that was kind of overbearing at times.

Maybe this was the opportunity her younger self had been waiting for.

And if it wasn’t, she didn’t give a damn.

She was Goldie O’Gilt, she didn’t wait for opportunities anymore. She made them if it was necessary and she took them without letting go of even one bit. She could have this, if she didn’t have it when she was younger, maybe she could have it now. Goldie O’Gilt took what she wanted, this woman was no exception.

Goldie dropped the gun and hold Gloria’s face into her hands and kissed her. The officer kept still without moving an inch, her eyes were wide open, surprised. Goldie decided to close her eyes and imagined Victoria with her glossed berry’s lips kissing her back.

She didn’t expect the officer to do it anyways.

“Maldita sea.” She heard a whisper mumbled into her beak and before she could process it, two hands gripped her hips and turned her into the wall, but where Goldie expected a fist fight, she found a body pressing her into the wall even harder and a beak kissing her like she was going to kiss her soul.

She hadn’t had a kiss like this since, well, the Klondike. A kiss that made her want friction, that made her hands look for support. A kiss that ate her inside out. She wanted to put her legs around her waist and sink her fingers into her shoulder blades. So, she did it. Gloria seemed to kiss her even harder when she did. Her hands moving from her hips to her waist but never outside of that range but Gloria obviously wanted to do more, she felt it when she would grip a little tighter when her hands seemed to go a little farther. Goldie wanted to tell her she could do more if she wanted.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t kiss someone like me?” She said instead. Goldie felt completely breathless, her breathing labored and difficult. A younger Goldie was almost having a party in her mind.

“I’m having _a really_ stressful day and you had been particularly annoying about it.” She sounded enraged, completely done with the situation. She knew a man that sounded like that sometimes with her. Maybe she had a type after all.

_I need to go out of this city before he knows I’m here, now that I think about it. That’s why I needed the money._

“ _Who_ is going to know? Did you try to scam other men apart from the one in the hotel?” Uh, oh, she said that out loud.

“Aw, don’t be jealous, Victoria, sweetie.”

“Look, you keep calling me that and I keep telling you. That. Is. Not. My. Name.”

“What’s your name then?”

“Gloria Cabrera.”

“Gloria, huh?”

She already knew it, but it was still amusing to know that this was not, in fact, Victoria. She was definitely dead. She didn’t change her name nor did she lost her memories. What a thing was this reincarnation business.

“Victoria-.”

“I just told you-!”

“I will see you around.”

“Wh-?”

Goldie kissed her again, a hand on Gloria’s neck pulling her into the kiss.

For Gloria, everything faded to black in an instant.

.

“Cabrera! Gloria, please, wake up!”

Gloria started to blink, the light of the ceiling hurting her eyes a little. “¿Que coño…?”

“Oh, she waked up.”

Her partner was looking at her relieved. Gloria sat up, her head hurt. Her hand went to her neck, the last place where she felt something before she blacked out. “What the hell happened?”

“Well, we would like to ask you that, because when we entered the room you were completely unconscious on the floor, all your things were there too. What happened?”

“What happened to Goldie?” she asked instead, not prepared to think about what happened in the room. She got up, walking outside the room to the hallway to see the damage that Goldie left behind.

Her partner in front of her pointed at the end of the hallway with a funny smile, Gloria followed the direction. A “¿qué carajos?” trespassed her lips when she saw one of the windows completely broken, someone had jumped out probably.

“How the fuck she did that?”

“No idea. When we went to see how the interrogation was going, the window was already broken and you were on the floor. But, seriously, what happened?”

“Yes, Cabrera, What happened?”

That was her boss. She didn’t look happy at all, not even to see her well and conscious.

“Uh…” she couldn’t say, ‘we kind of made out in the interrogation room and then she took the opportunity to knock me the fuck out.’ Yeah, no, it sounded pretty lame and extremely unethical. So, she said almost everything but left out the part where she almost ravaged Goldie O’Gilt on the table of the interrogation room. She felt happy that in a way that was 90% of the truth.

Her boss didn’t look so happy _. Mierda._ “Did you at least have her name, Cabrera?”

“Goldie O’Gilt, sir. That’s the name.”

Her boss paled. Well, that was an interesting reaction. “You did a good job, Cabrera. She could have done worse.”

“Wait, boss, what do you mean?”

“Goldie O’Gilt is a force to be reckoned with. I’m actually surprised that this disaster is the only thing she left behind. Look, kids, she is at least 140 years old, do you understand what I’m saying? 140 years of knowledge, that woman is impossible to get.”

“What the fuck?”

“¡Imposible!”

“Nah, there are rumors that said that Scrooge McDuck is the same. But well, I need to go to do some paperwork for that fucking window and for the “Glittering Goldie” archive. You did well, Cabrera. I’m glad you’re alive.” And she left just like that.

 _I’m glad you’re alive_ , that sounded horribly ominous.

“140 years old, can you believe that?”

“Yeah, sounds surreal.”

Well, yes, it sounded pretty fucking surreal that she made out with a woman that didn’t look older than 40 years but was _at least_ 140 years old. _At least_ , she repeated in her mind, trying to comprehend it. Maybe that was why she was such a good kisser. She decided she was going to go home at that moment and her partner just accepted it, telling her he would do the paperwork left. She thanked him with all her might, making her partner laugh at her.

She was so extremely tired.

The only thing she wanted to do now was to go home, cuddle with his son while watching _Patito Feo_ and make some tea for the first time in her entire life.

She entered the interrogation room and took her things. She put her badge on, took both her guns, her house’s keys. Her wallet was intact, Goldie even put the photo of Fenton back.

 _She did leave a disaster behind her_ , she thought. _Freaking woman_.

Damn, she definitely needed a nap too after all this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall i love ppl being weak about goldie o'gilt cuz we, as a fandom, are weak against her too. she good, bro, she good.
> 
> hope u enjoyed it!!!
> 
> come bother me if u want to:  
> [my writing and art tumblr](http://toddy-does.tumblr.com/)  
> [my personal tumblr](http://toddy-kun.tumblr.com/)  
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/toddywithcereal)


	2. aim for victory and you may have the chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me tell you that this got three times longer than I expected! I expected this to have only 4k words and I ended with 10k+ words lmao I wrote, and wrote, and rewrote, and rewrote, and edited and then rewrite again and wrote some more and i felt like it was endless. It got so long that I had to cut part 2 into three and now this fic has five parts instead of three (and honestly, for the looks of it, maybe it ends with more lmao). I wanted to finish this chapter before 2018 finished, but I think is good that I started this year with this fic, let’s hope it means that I’m gonna write a lot about wlw and ducks in 2019. 
> 
> I also will be responding to comments tomorrow, since now I have the time and I don't feel as anxious and terrible about it! I'm kinda sick so don't expect too much sense tho lmao
> 
> Hope you like it!!!!
> 
> Bonus scene from this chapter: [Who we are in our little place](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17334959).

Victoria smiled at the sensation of her fingers passing through soft and blonde hair without difficulty, she felt like belonging and calmness in that borrowed room in Dawson. She missed her home in Spain but this was just as good, Goldie’s trust and blind disposition to her made her feel safe and domestic like she was back home again. She was living in that moment with a happiness she didn’t know she could have in a different place, away from her home.

It was surprising how good a simple action like braiding Goldie’s hair made her feel.

“You done there?”

Goldie sounded impatient and gleeful, Victoria only laughed, amused at her urgency and surprised at herself for being so lost in thought. Goldie turned around slightly, enough to watch her with those beautiful emerald eyes, full with curiosity and wonder.

“Sorry, got distracted. Turn around, I’m gonna finish it.”

Goldie turned around instantly, obeying diligently and asking about more of her business lessons. The ones that she actually liked to talk about so much. Victoria indulged her.

She really indulged her in everything she wanted to learn about, if she could teach her, of course. Goldie wanted to learn about everything, not used to a girl that knew about such “masculine” subjects and that was willing to teach others about it. She was always so full of an enviable energy, she kept up with Victoria and even surpassed her at everything she taught her. Fighting, bantering, playing cards, trading, braiding. The only things she didn’t seem to grasp as fast was Spanish and some basic baking skills, but one couldn’t have everything.

The braiding started some weeks ago, Victoria had offered to braid her hair when she arrived at her room one day, fussing and complaining about her parents not wanting to let her take care of more things in the Blackjack now that she was older. It was a simple action with good results that could relax anyone if the braider knew what they were doing, and if Goldie’s delighted face was anything to get by when she finished with her hair, all those months suffering from her own mother painfully pulling her hair were now extremely worth it.

It converted in a way to relax her fast enough, Goldie would just say that she needed a braid and she would understand immediately that she just needed to relax. The resulted braid was just an added benefit now. Goldie would melt into her hands and vent about whatever was eating her alive, in return, Victoria had Goldie, and that was enough for her in that moment of time.

“Ready,” she announced, finishing the braid with her red ribbon. Her hands abandoned the softness of her hair with a last touch. She kept down the disappointing feeling that tried to grow in her heart.

Goldie got up immediately from the bed, walking to the mirror with the same eager expression she always had. She twirled around, admiring herself in the mirror.

It wasn’t an overcomplicated braid but it was beautiful nonetheless. Victoria got up too, walking behind her and grabbing her by her arms, resting her head in her shoulder and connecting with her eyes through the mirror.

“Look at you, so cute,” Goldie said nothing at that, but a precious red appeared on her cheeks. Victoria’s smile grew. “Nice color on those cheeks, combines with the ribbon. Red suits you, I think you should wear it more.”

Goldie snorted, turning around with the red subsided and a sly smile in place. “You only said that because red is your favorite color!”

“Hey! It’s a great color!”

“Well, it’s for  _you._  I like gold a little more.”

Victoria snorted, rolling her eyes. “Of course you do.”

“I do. Also, when are you really going to teach me how to braid? You have been putting it off!”

“Me? It’s you the one that doesn’t want to! You just want me to braid  _your_  hair!” Goldie snorted, taking her hand and pushing her to the bed. Victoria grabbed her, pulling Goldie with her into the bed. Goldie fell on top of her, their faces close and their breathing intermingling. Victoria tried to keep her heart in check, tried to keep her attention on the subject and not on Goldie’s beak. “At this rate, I won’t have anything else to teach you anyways.”

Goldie laughed, rolling off of her and looking at the ceiling of her room instead. She messed up the beautiful braid Victoria just made, but her messy hair had a charm to it sprawled on the bed while still trying to be tied up with the ribbon. Victoria basked on the image as much as she could, not knowing how to control the feeling of longing that ate her heart. She wanted to kiss her but she did not.

“I didn’t think you could ever run out of things to teach me. You even know a lot that stuff about the words’ meanings, how was it called?”

Victoria giggled, trying to ignore the feeling eating her heart. “Etymology? I love that.”

“Right that! And law and philosophy and you had visited a lot of places too! You are so lucky…”

Victoria shrugged, the subject about traveling one that she grew to distaste. “I miss home, honestly. I’m glad I’m going back next month.”

Goldie stopped smiling, Victoria cursed herself immediately.

It wasn’t like Victoria felt nothing about it, but it was a fact, either if she wanted to go home or not. It was simply something that it had to happen at some point. She wasn’t from Dawson, her parents were just there for business. She just wasn’t expecting to find…gold.

Goldie hadn’t been on her plans. It hadn’t been on her plans to have someone so important in another place that wasn’t her birthplace, she actively avoided that in the other places they traveled to. But Goldie was different. She missed her even when she was there with her, and now, that they were going to be apart, she didn’t know what would happen to them.

“Golden, hey, don’t be sad. It’s going to be fine. I will write to you and- Goldie?” Goldie avoided her, looking away from her. Victoria sighed, she touched her arm, caressing the white feathers there. Silence filled the room, the happiness they had flying away. Victoria sighed again, and kissed her cheek, expecting with that to gain her attention again. It was soft and way longer than a normal kiss on the cheek would be. She heard Goldie taking a sudden breath, her chest rising. When Victoria stopped, Goldie hadn’t opened her eyes yet. Until she heard a sob, Goldie turning to her with a miserable look. Victoria felt her heart turning into pieces and held her cheeks between her hands, trying to hold their selves up.

“I’m sorry, Golden. It wasn’t my intention. I do miss home, it’s just that-,” Victoria tsked, the words not coming easily to her. “I wish I could stay with you.  _But I can’t_.”

“I understand that! It’s just…” Goldie looked at her like  _that. Again_. Like she had been looking at her for weeks now. Her eyes sending shivers and chills through her body, her gaze flying to her beak every now and then. She knew that look, the desire that poured out of it.

 _Just do it_ , she thought, not avoiding her gaze, staring in those greens intently. Goldie seemed to think better of it and just moved her head the other way, her cheeks flaming under her fingers. Victoria sighed internally, feeling both disappointed at herself and like a coward. She could do it but, she felt fear too like Goldie probably did.

“I just don’t understand why in one month, they said three months at least, why only two now?”

Victoria stayed silent for a while, she sighed and ended saying with some restraint, like she wanted to shut up but couldn’t. “An important man of our society asked for my hand in marriage. My parents accepted a meeting and they want me to meet him as soon as possible.”

Goldie opened her eyes, sitting up abruptly and looking at her bewildered. “What?” She sounded offended. No, she actually sounded more scared. “What the actual fuck?”

Victoria smirked, amused at her reaction, not surprised at it but a part of her was pleased with it.

“Goldie, it’s not that weird.”

“I know!  _But you?”_

Victoria snorted. “Yeah, I know, but don’t worry. I’m gonna reject him.”

Goldie blinked. “But your parents-.”

She shook her head with a smile. “They’re gonna be mad I’m letting go of such an amazing “business deal” but they will understand if I say no. They just want me to meet him and maybe convince him in making business with them even if I don’t marry him.”

“Is everything a business to them? Even marriage?”

“In their defense, marriage is a business. In a way. Their marriage is one, for example. That they fell in love in the process was just an added benefit.”

Goldie groaned, falling hard into the bed again with a frustrated noise. “I can’t believe it, and they look so in love…”

Victoria laughed at that, finding the situation quite hilariously in itself. Marrying was at their age something normal and desired. Victoria had not lied, it was a business. It really depended on how much it benefited the families that two persons married. “Are you trying to tell me that no one in this goddammed town had tried to marry you?”

“Of course some had tried, but my parents are so busy with the saloon that they don’t give a fuck and I reject them all since they won’t say a thing about it.”

“Lucky you.”

Goldie rolled her eyes. “I guess. I don’t want to marry.”

Victoria giggled, falling into the bed too and grabbing her hand. “Me neither. Especially not with a man.”

Goldie turned around, a smile appearing on her face and red in her cheeks, some hopeful light in her eyes. She visibly relaxed at the comment, Victoria wanted to say something about it but decided against it, scared of what that could entail in the end. She liked to think of herself as brave, but Goldie’s smile, beautiful appearance, and obvious attraction made sure to remind her that she wasn’t that much. She knew there was a step to be given between them, but she kept leaving it up to Goldie, who she didn’t know if it was really aware of it.

How much of a coward could she be?

“Really? You promise?”

“I promise,” she replied simply, she didn’t know why that seemed so incredibly important for Goldie to promise but she smiled so simple and beautiful with that answer. Victoria wanted to stay with her so much. She tried not to think too much about it. “I don’t want kids at all either. I don’t think I couldn’t handle a little me running around and calling me “mami”, can you even imagine? What a nightmare.”

##  _**.** _

“Mami, I don’t wanna!”

“I know, pollito. But mami has to open the door and she can’t do that while carrying you, ok? I’m sorry.”

Fenton made a tired noise when she put him on the floor and hugged her leg, sleepily supporting his little body on her and closing his eyes.

Carrying a sleepy Fenton and her bag and trying to open the door of her apartment at the same time may have been harder than she wanted to admit. Especially with an injured shoulder that she was trying not to use too much and at 1 a.m. on a Saturday when everybody else was sleeping, her own body tired and praying for sleep too.

Doña Claudia was an angel for staying up so late waiting for her and taking care of Fenton meanwhile. She really felt bad for worrying her.

She hated her job sometimes. Honestly.

Gloria opened the door with a satisfying click. When she went to carry Fenton again, her hands already in his armpits to lift him up, a weird sound that came from inside her apartment caught her attention. Gloria stopped on her tracks and went completely still, all her alarms on in a second, waiting for the sound to appear again.

Something sounded again.

Anxiety started to swell on her stomach and she looked at the hallway with uneasiness. Her mind started to run 200 km/s, trying to come out with a solution. She could be being paranoid, especially after the events of that day in her job, but she preferred to confirm it.

She cursed, trying not to act too harsh and anxious in front of Fenton. She carried her son’s face between her hands to make him look at her, waking him up more. He looked at her, blinking for the sleepiness and the confusion but seemingly paying attention.

“Hear me up, pollito, ok? This is important.” Fenton stopped blinking, he seemed more alert and nodded at her. “Do you remember what I told you to do in case of an emergency here in the apartment?”

Fenton nodded eagerly. “¡Sip! You told me to run to Abuela Claudia’s apartment as fast as I can, stay with her and to give her the police station’s number or your friend’s number so she could use them if she needed. Oh! And that no matter what, to act brave like Spiderduck because everything was going to be okay in the end.”

Gloria smiled, giggling a little, that little last comment effectively relaxing her a little. “Yes, exactly, honey. Such a good boy.” Fenton smiled full force, proudly. “Now, I have to enter the apartment alone and you will stay here waiting for me, you have to be alert and concentrate, like that superhero you like, ok? If you heard something weird or if I yell “vete”, you do exactly what I told you. Can you do that for me, pollito?”

“Yes, mami!”

Gloria ruffled his hair with a smile, proud of him. “That’s my son. Now stay here.”

She got up, leaving her bag on the ground and walked inside her home as quietly as she could. Her hand rested on the holster, mentally reminding herself that she had an extra gun in her bedroom just in case. Her mind tried to overwhelm her with the memories of the last time she touched a gun, they were too fresh and sending a shiver through her skin. She pressed down the anxiety as good as she could, taking her gun out of its holster, walking slowly to her living room. She breathed deeply when she took the last step she needed to make in order to finally be in the living room.

“So, officer Cabrera, how was your day at work?”

Gloria turned around so fast that she was surprised she didn’t bring her neck.

She stayed firm and straight to the voice, her gun directly ahead of her at pointing at it. But her surprise was replaced by rage in less than a second when blond hair and the upright of a smile she recognized were part of that voice too.

Gloria felt her blood boiling in her veins like a volcano.

Rage, anxiety, and a mix of confusing emotions that she didn’t want to acknowledge yet were the things that made her hold the gun even harder between her sweated hands.

“You shot me!” she spat, outraged and exhausted at this woman, for how unexpected she was and for the unwelcomed feelings she woke up on her. “That’s how my day at work went, you bitch!”

Goldie gasped, her hand on her beak, but a smile break on her just as fast. She got up unpreoccupied from her place in the kitchen’s counter that connected to the living room. Gloria tensed immediately when she walked to her, too on edge to address that Goldie was completely unarmed in front of her.

“Oh, come on, you shot me too, none of us got hurt,” Goldie replied, rolling her eyes, hands at her hips.

“Stop fucking walking!” Gloria finally screamed, her anxiety just wanted her away for a while, she didn’t want her near until she was completely sure she wasn’t a threat. Goldie, surprisingly, did stop, smile still on sight. Her heart stabilized a bit, Gloria looked at her with her brows furrowed, straight in the eye. “And your bullet got my shoulder, Goldie. I can’t use it properly for at least two months.”

Goldie’s smile dies out slowly. Honestly, Gloria didn’t know Goldie that well. Hell,  _she didn’t know Goldie at all_. But she knew the confusion and worry when she saw it.

It hit Gloria like a train. A weird feeling of relieving growing in her heart.

_Goldie didn’t know she had hurt her. She probably wasn’t even planning to use the gun she had in her hands. The shot getting her should have been an accident._

_Goldie had not wanted to hurt her at all._

Dammit, if she was right, then she didn’t know what feel towards Goldie anymore.

But it was better to work on the belief that she did know, that she aimed at her on purpose, even if it stabbed her on the heart. Goldie was still an unknown territory and her intentions were still mysterious to Gloria. She couldn’t trust her just on the assumption that she looked like it wasn’t like that, just because there was something in the back of her mind that said that she could never do that.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

How the hell did she know where she lived was actually a better one, but Gloria didn’t know if she was prepared for the answer to that particular question.

Goldie glanced at the gun and then at her. Gloria felt ready to fight at any given moment.

Sue her but Gloria was left unconscious by this woman the first time she saw her and shot today and her son was outside, of course she was going to be as careful as she could.

Goldie recomposed herself, unpreoccupied face on again. “Wanted to see you. Why? I can’t?  _Victoria?_ ”

That same mix of confusing feelings that Gloria didn’t want started to roar inside of her, making her feel apprehensive at the name. That name that had been haunting her for a while.

A name that forced her to make a _folder_  of memories that felt familiar and foreign at the same time.

Would it hurt if she showed it to Goldie? What would it prove? But she needed confirmation, at least of this. It would be good to have it from the duck that started it all. Gloria would just have her partner’s number on dial in case Goldie tried something funny. Fenton would have it too.

No,  _Fenton would not._

“Are you armed?”

“No,” Goldie replied simply, but after a second she smirked, “want to confirm?”

Gloria rolled her eyes, tried to keep down the blush that tried to grow in her cheeks. Her anxiety finally died out, well, almost. There was still a little pick of it. “Your word is enough for now, thanks.” She kept talking while putting her gun back in the holster. “I need to show you something so I guess it would be good if you stayed.”

“You want me to stay?” She sounded incredulous. Gloria was too if she was honest.

“Just to confirm some suspicious.” Goldie raised a brow, Gloria sighed. “I just have to arrange something with my son. I’m not letting him near you.  _At all_.”

“Right, your son.  _Right._ ” Gloria didn’t know if she was hallucinating or did Goldie really jumped at the mention of her son? Goldie turned around, looking suspiciously bored. “I came to see you, I’m not going anywhere without doing what I need to do.”

Gloria looked at her doubtfully but gave up on it. Whatever Goldie was thinking, she may never know. “Give me 15 minutes. Don’t touch anything.”

Goldie snorted and replied sarcastically, “Yes, officer.”

Gloria let her then, ready to pack everything her son would need to stay in another place. She grabbed his toothbrush, his favorite superhero themed pajama, his Superduck’s plushy and a change of clothes. She almost got out of her room, but a fast thought came to her. She took her extra gun too, hiding it in the back of her pants, for good measure. She just hoped that the thing that happened last time just…did not happen. She gave a last glance to the folder she had in her desk, took a deep breath and get out of her room.

She got out of her apartment without giving Goldie a second look. There, in the hallway, was Fenton. He was balancing himself with the extreme of his feet, waiting dutifully for her. Fenton turned around in the moment that she stepped out completely, and ran to her. She crunched down to get to his level, he frowned at the things in her arms.

“Is everything okay, mami?”

“Yeah, pollito. It’s just…” She didn’t know how to explain this to Fenton. “There is a…guest. But the guest is kind of dangerous so you can’t stay here, we are going back to Claudia and you’re gonna stay with her, ok? But it’s not an emergency, so you don’t have to call anyone. Hopefully.” She whispered the last part to herself.

“But mami, are you gonna stay with the dangerous guest?” Fenton looked worried, Gloria sighed.

“Yeah, honey, they need something from me and I need something from them.”

Fenton smiled, excited demeanor coming back. “Oh, like an anti-hero? They’re usually dangerous, but they like to look for information with some officers sometimes. Are they like, like your umm, people with information that aren’t from the police.”

Gloria snorted, confused out of nowhere. “An informant? And what’s an anti-hero anyways?”

She was thankful that the mind of a seven years old could be distracted so easily from the real problem. It gave her some peace of mind that Fenton wasn’t going to be extremely worried about it. She hadn’t expected that she was going to say this someday but thank God for comics and superheroes.

“Yeah, an informant! And don’t worry, mami, I’m going to explain it to you.”

He started to ramble about anti-heroes, mercenaries, and vigilantes. Meanwhile, Gloria took her own bag, put his things in his little backpack, took his hand and prayed that Doña Claudia wasn’t going to be suspicious of this specific thing. Also, she was starting to worry about the things that Fenton read in comics. Maybe she needed to cut down his supply a little.

##  _**.** _

“Ok, so, but if you had children, what would you name them? You like all these things about names and things, you can’t tell me you never thought about it even if you don’t want them.” Goldie asked, holding one of her etymology books, passing through the pages without really paying too much attention to the content except for some words. After all, the book was in Spanish and she knew too little about it, despite Victoria’s many attempts at trying to teach her.

Victoria snorted, exasperated by Goldie lack of wanting to drop the theme but finding the question funny anyways. “Why do you want to know?”

Goldie shrugged. “Dunno. But you’re not denying you have thought of some, so tell me.”

Victoria looked at her intently, there was something running in her mind. Then she smiled like she had a secret. “I never thought about it, really. But now, maybe if I had one, I would call them Oriana.”

“What if they don’t like it?”

“They can change it if they want, then, but I like that name for a special start.”

“It doesn’t sound too special… What does it mean?”

Victoria snorted, there was something hidden in her smile, something that Goldie couldn’t decipher.  “It is,  _Oro_. More than you think. Maybe learn some Spanish already so you can find it in that book.”

“Boo, not fair!”

Victoria just laughed at her.

##  _**.** _

Gloria sighed at herself, her cheeks were still red from recalling Doña Claudia’s comments about her “visitor”.

Doña Claudia had misinterpreted the situation completely. She was static at the thought of Fenton staying with her if it meant that Gloria was having a “dangerous visitor”. She wasn’t happy at her for dropping Fenton almost immediately after going to pick him up but she was happy that she was…relaxing herself up after the whole shooting situation she dealt with earlier.  _With someone_. She had winked at her and everything, hoping her luck with her “guest” and almost throwing her out the door.

Gloria groaned again at the memory, feeling embarrassment almost killing her.

She picked a look at her living room for good measure before taking the folder out of her room. Yep, Goldie was still there, sprawled on her couch, looking at the ceiling. So, it wasn’t her having anxious delusions.

Gloria walked to her little desk, the folder exactly where she had left it. Goldie hadn’t touched anything like she told her. Surprisingly.

She grimaced at it. She opened the folder just in case, and the contents of the folder were where they should be too. Her gaze flew instantly to a specific photograph, the first one on display. It was the one of a portrait, a beautiful girl staring straight at her, that thing in the back of her mind reacted to it. Gloria closed the folder before she freaked out.

Gloria sighed, refusing to see the pictures until she showed them to Goldie. Only her have the answer she was hoping for. Or so, she wished.


	3. glorious opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where there are more questions than answers. who is victoria, in the end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My new resolution for 2019 is to not make promises. At all. Not even when I'm 100% sure I'm gonna do them lmao
> 
> Hope you like this chap!!!! (also, this is getting moooore chapters that I thought lmao)
> 
> Bonus scene from the second chapter here: [Who we are in our little place](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17334959). Some Cabrera family fluff for the soul.

Gloria threw the folder on the table, the slapping sound making Goldie immediately turn around on the couch, her hands behind her head. She had been watching absorbedly at the ceiling, intense expression on her face. The expression was gone now, replaced with a confident smile and playful eyes, as nothing had happened. Gloria just gestured to her to move so she could sit down.

Goldie finally sat down and moved. “So, how can I help you, dear officer?”

Gloria sat down hard on the couch and looked at her straight in the eye. “How did you know Victoria and me were related?”

Goldie stopped smiling but there was some kind of hope reflecting out of her eyes now. “What? What are you talking about?”

Gloria opened the folder and held the first picture. She didn’t even want to see it but the question that she had been holding onto for months finally got out. “Is this the Victoria you know?”

Goldie’s eyes were now wide open and she snatched the picture out of her hand, gasping. She didn’t need to see the picture again to know what Goldie was seeing.

Gloria did have reasons to freak out every time she saw that photograph of that girl’s portrait.

After all, that girl’s face was her own.

Or, at least, it looked almost exactly like hers.

Her face was younger but harsher. Her hair was longer, delicate and well cared at the same time that looked untamed and wild.

But what really threw her off, more than the similarities, more than those unreliable feelings, were her eyes. Her eyes were _different_ in a way that wasn’t physical.

Black eyes that looked directly at the viewer, piercing and determinate.

Gloria was so sure those were her exact same eyes, but there was something that made her breathing harder when she stared at them. There was an intensity that she felt she couldn’t keep up with. Some unspoken hardship, some unspoken truth, some unspoken will to what? To live? To fight? To transcend, maybe? She looked way ahead of her like she had made a decision that she was really determined to live up to.

Some unspoken promise that Gloria had to know about.

But that was impossible. Of course. How she could know anything about this woman? Less about a promise she did.

Gloria didn’t know why, but since the day that she saw that one particular picture, her feelings regarding Goldie seemed even more confusing than before. That feeling in the back of her mind recoiled and expanded wildly every time she tried to regard it. And now that Goldie was there? It positively was starting to hurt.

Goldie’s face was a poem. She looked confused, an incredulous expression on her while she looked at the picture. At some point, she started to look at her and then at the picture. Gloria raised a brow at some point, because really, how many times did she need to see the picture and then at her again? She understood she was surprised but considering she was the one insisting she was Victoria maybe she shouldn’t be as incredulous.

Goldie got up suddenly, signaling her with the picture accusingly, surprising her with a betrayed face that Gloria didn’t know how to deal with. She screamed at her, “I knew it! You’re Victoria!”

Gloria got up too by impulse at the scream, ignoring her common sense of not starting a fight. “The hell I am! We’ve been over this already! And don’t scream at me!”

Goldie groaned, she seemed to think better of it and threw her hands up in frustration accompanied by an exasperated noise. “Ok! Maybe you’re not her.” Goldie complied, not exactly calm but definitely not screaming again. She still had a weird betrayed face on her. “But you’re related, right? You say so yourself, is she like your great-grandma or something?”

Gloria sat down again with a grunt, caressing the middle of her beak. “We aren’t related by blood, genius. Or, at least I hope so,” she sighed, almost talking to herself that last part. “Fucking sit down, you’re making me nervous.”

Goldie blinked at her, confused. She sat down as she told her at least. The picture still firmly in her grasp. “What do you mean not by blood? You look the same.”

“I know, you don’t need to remind me. And before I answer that, you have to answer me something first. How old are you?”

“Oh, that? Now?”

“Yeah, that. Because, that woman?" she said, signaling the picture Goldie had in her hands. "Obviously lived in the 1860s or something and you don’t look over your forties so you better explain how do you know her.”

Goldie snorted, looking at her. “Really? That’s all you wanna know?”

Gloria shrugged, her brow furrowed. “No, but it’s a start.”

“Ok, ok. I’m like, with exactitude, one hundred thirty-two years old? Maybe, do you have a calculator?”

Gloria blinked at her and then let her head fell into the couch, looking at the ceiling with an incredulous expression. “ _Oh Jesús Bendito_ , my boss was right.”

“Yeah, I answered you already, are you gonna explain me-?”

Gloria continued freaking out, ignoring her. “You’re over one hundred years and you look like that!?”

Goldie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, the Fountain of Youth comes handy for that. Now, about Victoria-“

“The Fountain of what now!?”

Goldie groaned, exasperated. “We don’t have time for you losing it, Gloria. How the hell are you and Victoria related? Apart from the obvious and uncanny physical resemblance.”

“Yeah, I…I think my head hurts, give me a second.”

“Yeah, there are rumors that that happens to people that don’t use their brains too much.”

Gloria looked at her with the most tired expression she could give her, Goldie just smiled, signaling to the folder, edging her on opening it.

Gloria grunted, sitting upright again. “Ok, you win. But I don’t really know how we are related. I just know that we are. I actually hoped that you, that you knew.”

She sighed, taking the other pictures out of the folder and showing them to Goldie. She took them immediately and looked at them with attention. Now those were real photographs of the moment. Black and white, sepia and color photographs, two women always together, sometimes there was a man, sometimes there was a little girl. But the two women were always together in every picture, there was a real feeling to them, something domestic that Gloria could understand and relate to. One of those women was Victoria. They didn’t freak her out as bad and that feeling in the back of her mind? It felt more like hers than anything else. Still foreign, but a relatable one.

Goldie looked at every picture with a mixed expression, confusion, and nerves colliding in her eyes. “Who are these people?”

“My family.”

“You said-.”

“I know what I say, just…let me explain. Give me one of the pictures were the four are together.”

Goldie looked for one immediately and gave it to her. Gloria put the picture on the table and then signaled to the little duckling, she looked happy, with a big smile taking all her face, each little fluffy gray hand taking one of the women’s. “This _is_ my great-grandma.”

Then she signaled to the man, a sturdy but short white duck with an easy expression. One of his hands were on the shoulder of the woman that wasn’t Victoria. He had a wedding ring. “This is my great-great-grandfather, Julio Lozano, and this one,” she said next, signaling a black duck with a beautiful face, she had a soft-spoken expression and her head rested tenderly on Victoria’s shoulder, “is my great-great-grandmother, Mercedes Cabrera.”

Goldie raised a brow at her. “So? The only thing I’m getting from this is that your great-great-grandmother was pretty hardcore on keeping the Cabrera name alive since you’re a Cabrera too.”

Gloria tried not to snort but she did let a smug smile slide on her face. “Yeah, I know, this is the part that really interests you. Your dearest Victoria,” she continued, signaling to Victoria. She looked calm and gorgeous like she always did, that always ever present self-assured smile on her face looked now indulgent and trusting. Goldie sighed.

Gloria took some other papers out of the folder. They looked old and boring. It was a contract, a certificate of change of name “I dug a little deeper and found that she was my great-great-grandmother’s companion, business partner, teacher and later on my great-grandma’s teacher. But that’s all I have, no more records, no certificate of birth, no certificate of death, no more photos. These are the only things I could find about her. And they were from my family. It’s like…she disappeared after that.”

Goldie inspected the contract and the certificate of the change of name. She furrowed her brow, some detail taking her attention then she took the pictures, the ones were her great-great-grandmother and Victoria were together.

Goldie asked with an uncertain voice like she didn’t want to ask at all, and less of all, she didn’t want an answer. “Were they together? Is that why she changed her name to Cabrera?”

“Oh, that.” Gloria took the papers from her, looking over them. And yes there it was, Victoria Flores Silva to _Victoria Cabrera_. “I thought that too. They definitely didn’t seem like just business partners or companions on those pictures.”

Goldie showed her one picture have Victoria hugging her great-great-grandmother from behind with a pretty romantic smile. No great-great-grandpa in sight. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“Fuck off, Watson.” Gloria snatched the picture out of her grasp. “It’s just a theory anyway, and even then, I still don’t know anything about Victoria. My family never talked about her even when they have this stuff about her, but they did talk about my great-great-parents and my great-grandma, if she was so related to us I don’t know why they wouldn’t talk about her.”

Goldie groaned, looking at all the pictures in desperation. She took a deep breath and a sobered expression took over her face.

Gloria was still trying to fight that feeling in the back of her mind that edge her to do a bunch of actions without reason at all. That expression Goldie just made her feel guilty like she had just hurt her. She wanted to apologize but for what? For Victoria apparently moving on with her great-great-grandma? It wasn’t Gloria’s fault.

And yet.

Goldie turned to her, a serious expression on her face. “Why did you look for these? We only saw each other for one time, you could have easily brushed off our encounter. Excuse me saying that I was just hallucinating or something. Why look for these things? Why find out about this now?”

Gloria wanted answers to those question too, she could admit that she thought that maybe having confirmation that this was Victoria could somewhat clear the fog of those feelings of familiarity mixed with an unknown that wasn’t part of her normal. Honestly, all of this only made the hurt worse. She still didn’t know shit about Victoria. But her name resonated in her mind like a part of her. She hated not knowing something about herself. She had never doubted who she was until now.

She decided to just tell Goldie. She let her mouth run out, almost everything pouring out of her.

“When I first saw you, I started feeling weird and you calling me Victoria just finally fucked me up, I started having _these,_ these weird feelings every time I thought about you and you calling me Victoria, like I had known you before, like you had called me that before, but that’s like, impossible, right? Like there was something else I had to know about it. It wouldn’t leave my mind at all and then… then I found this stuff between the things mi’amá brought from Cuba when I was cleaning the apartment and well, it freaked me out.”

“I actually wanted to ignore it because it freaked me out. But they got worse when I saw that photograph of Victoria’s portrait and I just, I had to know, you know? But now, I’m even more confused. I don’t know why I feel like this and Victoria isn’t even related to me by blood. Why did you have to come and turn my world upside down? Why do I feel like this?”

She didn’t even realize but she was now up and walking around her couch, frustrated and angry. She sounded bitter, and she kinda was.

She had enough dealing with her recent divorce and her chaotic mess of a schedule and Fenton and groceries and saving up to pay for taxes and bills and Fenton’s school and she wanted a house too! Why Life have to throw her now what? An identity crisis? Some existential bullshit she didn’t even have to deal with when she was a teenager? Was that why? She didn’t have an existential crisis when she was a teen so she was having it now? There was no other explanation for this crap.

“That’s probably because you are her reincarnation.”

Except maybe that one.

Gloria laughed hard, the absurdity of the comment taking her completely by surprise and distracting her from her own self-loathing. She looked at Goldie, still laughing. But Goldie was serious, not an ounce of humor in her face. Gloria stopped laughing immediately, incredulous.

“ _Oh por Dios Bendito_ , you’re serious.”

Goldie talked again, this time more firmly, getting up and walking to her. “You heard me. You are her reincarnation.”

“I’m her what now?” Gloria looked at her like he had grown a second head. She snorted at the next second, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing this. “Goldie, look you can’t, as old as you say or whatever, but you can’t really pretend that I going to believe in some bullshit like reincarnation. I’m not Jesús!”

“That’s resurrection, genius. I’m talking about reincarnation. _She_ died, _you_ were born.”

“I don’t care, it's bullshit.”

“Then tell me, officer,” she asked, defiantly. “How the hell do you explain that you look exactly like her? How else do you explain that you feel like you know me? If it’s not reincarnation, what is it?”

Gloria stayed silent, stubbornly so. She refused to acknowledge that it had to do something with resurrection. Because if it was reincarnation, _who was her then?_ Did that mean that her feelings, her actions, her history wasn’t hers? If she was Victoria, what did that mean for her?

The feeling of her world going upside down was a completely unsolicited one. She had always known who she was, she had always felt certain of her feelings, of what to do. It had been her normal to act as her mind say at the moment that it said. But with these feelings that didn’t feel hers, with this pain in the back of her mind, she felt anxious and undefined, not knowing how to react to any of this.

Goldie seemed to think better of it, sighing softly and taking her face between her hands. Gloria stayed quiet, an uncertain expression in her face. “You say you have feelings for me, something that you can’t explain. What are those feelings?”

“Goldie-”

“Tell me.”

It sounded commendably soft for something that actually felt so authoritative.

Gloria gulped, the back of her mind screaming and recoiling. Something that boiled in her veins that she couldn’t explain nor wanted to, a mix of attraction and longing that she couldn’t control.

She felt desperate, to do what? She didn’t know exactly, a feeling she had not welcome into her stabbed her heart again and again, and now that Goldie was there, in front of her with a familiar face that shouldn’t be familiar, the feeling wounded her heart harder. She felt like she had not seen Goldie in a century, even if she knew it had been only months. Hell, only hours. She felt the need to snatch her up by the waist and kiss her instead of whatever they were doing right now.

But that was illogical, and she couldn’t be driven by illogical impulses like that.

Every reasonable thought in her demanded distance between them, demanded distrust. But, that _something_ was having none of it.

“Mierda…” Gloria looked to the ground, still insecure about the whole thing. “I’m sorry.”

Goldie hummed, sounding amused. “Why for?”

Gloria scoffed, frustrated. “I had no fucking idea, for my great-great-grandma getting on with Victoria? The hell I know, I just saw your face, all sad and I just feel sorry, ok?”

Goldie let out a deep breath and then she let out a soft laugh, it sounded patronizing. Gloria still couldn’t see her in the face.

“It’s that all? That’s all that has been eating you away?” _No, that isn’t all_ , she thought, the desire to just kiss her still there but she didn’t want to deal with that now. Not with Goldie. “What more are you feeling, officer?”

She changed the subject, a cowardice she didn’t know she had taking over her mind. “Why did you come here anyway? To annoy me? Because I’m feeling very annoyed right now.” Goldie snorted. “You said you came here for something and you wouldn’t leave until you did, so what is it?”

Goldie looked at her like she knew she was avoiding the subject. She didn’t let her. “Oh, that. Well, it was mostly to confirm some things, but now that I did, your feelings sound more interesting…” Goldie sent her _a look_. Her emerald eyes sending her into a spiral. She knew that look like she had been seeing it her whole life. There were desire and want and longing.

She felt that too.

Goldie walked up to her until she was pretty close, their beaks almost meeting. Gloria felt shivers and chills through her body, the feeling young and far away but strong in its own way.

 _Just do it_ , she thought, not avoiding her gaze, staring in those greens intently. She didn’t know from where exactly that thought came from. The situation felt familiar, her mind screaming an order she couldn’t understand when Goldie put her hands in her shirt.

“Well, feeling annoyed is a feeling, all right. What are you gonna do about it, officer?”

_Yeah, what are you gonna do now, officer Cabrera? Are you a coward?_

She knew exactly what she wanted to do now, and she was no coward. She was tired of being held down by this confusion and this strange fearfulness that wasn’t hers. Goldie was beautiful and confusing and just _there_. And her mind screamed for release, who was she to deny it now?

“Just, this,” and she closed the distance, kissing her hard, with all her might. Her fingers losing themselves in blond hair. Her mind finally shutting up.

The peace she had been looking for finally there.

**_._ **

_I wish I was in Dawson_ , Victoria thought, waiting angrily in an empty room of her house for the man that had asked for her hand in marriage.

She felt angered. She felt incomplete. The beautiful Spanish night didn’t relax her anymore, her always warm house didn’t feel as welcoming as always and her own room felt like a trap. She had felt like this for weeks now, she didn’t know what to do with these emotions except writing letters to Goldie that she didn’t feel brave enough to send.

The frustration was eating her inside out. She could have so easily kissed her, it wouldn’t have mattered at all at that point. She was going far away from her, who knew if she could see her again, it was only a step, a single action. She was such a coward, she wanted to kiss her until she couldn’t breathe.

She yearned, wanted, longed.

She wished she could reset her life again only to be able to do that simple thing. She wished she could hold onto her and never let go.

The voice of a man interrupted her thoughts. “Good morning, I hope I’m not interrupting anything. That’s a pretty sad face you got there. Something wrong, señorita Victoria? We could do this meeting any other day, I’ve got no problem with that.”

Victoria sighed, feeling her patience on thin ice. She turned around with the most serious face she could muster and greeted the man. “Good morning, Señor Cabrera. And don’t worry, I prefer to get this out of the way finally. It’s a pleasure to see you, by the way.”

Mr. Cabrera, seemingly not believing her one bit, keep on smiling, patronizingly so. Victoria hated it. “Good to hear that, then I think you may be wondering why I asked for this meeting.”

_Cut the crap, old man, we both know why._

“And no, it’s no, it’s not for your hand in marriage, like your parents and you are probably thinking.”

Victoria blinked, confused and forgetting her anger for a moment. She dropped her serious act in a second. “Wait, what?”

“I’m actually here to propose you something else. Well, more like someone else.”

Victoria rolled her eyes, disappointment and anger came to her again. She couldn’t believe she actually thought it was something else. “If it’s your son then-.”

“It’s my daughter, actually.” Victoria shut her mouth immediately, not knowing what to say. Mr. Cabrera kept smiling, not dropping his easy-going demeanor for a second.

“To, to marry her?” She asked with a traitorous timid voice, completely incredulous of what she was hearing.

“Well, no. That would be illegal, really.” Victoria wondered if legality was the only thing stopping this man from proposing his daughter to her in marriage. “There’s a rumor around town that you’re the most knowledgeable woman that Spain has ever seen.”

She was no woman, not yet, not with only fifteen. But Victoria, proudly, didn’t waste a second to confirm it. “I am.”

Mr. Cabrera let out a rich and charming laugh. “And humble too, apparently.” Victoria shrugged, a genuine smug smile breaking through her face, she was starting to feel at ease with him. “I was wondering if you could be my daughter’s teacher and companionship. She is my only heir since my wife died and honestly, I’m not looking for another.”

“A wife or an heir?” she asked, doubtfully.

“Both,” he replied with ease. “I was hoping you would say yes, she is shy and I don’t trust the teachers around here, they don’t want to teach women.”

“Oh, I know.”

Mr. Cabrera hummed, appreciatively. “I bet you do. You understand that world better than me. She will carry the Cabrera’s name and pass it down, I’m pretty sure of it. She is at least really hard about that subject.”

“You mean if you’re lucky to find a man that would accept to carry a woman’s name or let their progenies have it instead of his.”

“Ah, señorita Victoria, you’re killing me with these answers. Would you accept or not?”

Victoria snorted. “I…” There was something in the back of her mind that told her that teaching another girl sounded like a betrayal. She paid it no mind. She didn’t know if she could put the past in the past, but this was a step. It wasn’t a bad deal. “I can. But I have to inform my parents.”

“I actually would like to talk with your parents personally if you don’t mind."

Victoria smiled, this time with more honesty. “They’ll be thrilled.”

“I sure hope so. But now, my daughter has been waiting for your approval, I’m gonna present her to you in this instant.”

“Wait, now?”

“Yes, of course! What better time to start than right now? Daughter of mine, come here!”

Victoria tried not to laugh at this man, especially when his beautiful daughter stepped in. She was almost exactly like her father, black jet feathers that looked soft to the touch and beautiful black eyes. She held herself with little confidence. Definitely Goldie’s opposite.

Mr. Cabrera smiled and grabbed his daughter by her shoulder with proudness. “Señorita Victoria, this is my daughter, Mercedes. Mercedes, Victoria. Now, if you excuse me, ladies, I’m gonna do some business.”

And he got out there like a breeze, Victoria finally couldn’t hold it down more and laughed heartedly. “Your father sure is an impatient man.”

The young Cabrera laughed. Her voice was heavenly. She looked a little embarrassed but seemed to have a lot of affection for her father, if that little look she threw in his direction was anything to get by.

“He is a good father. I’m thankful to you for accepting, he has been talking about you for a while very excitedly.”

“Has he?”

She nodded. Victoria was thinking that she was going to like this family very much. “Anyways, would you like to start your lessons now?”

She seemed surprised. “Now?”

“Didn’t he say that what better time to start than now?”

She laughed again and Victoria thought that she may be okay after all. Even if the feelings in the back of her mind told her otherwise. “I think these lessons are gonna be a pleasure with someone with such humor.”

“The pleasure is gonna be mine. Really.”

**Author's Note:**

> come bother me if u want to:  
> [my writing and art tumblr](http://toddy-does.tumblr.com/)  
> [my personal tumblr](http://toddy-kun.tumblr.com/)  
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/toddywithcereal)


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